TWILIGHT RANDOMNESS!
by livicullen01
Summary: Nessie meets Tokio Hotel? Jasper goes to jail? Carlise gets a tattoo? What else could possibly go wrong? With special guests StoneSour,me and tokio hotel!
1. Chapter 1

Nessie meets Tokio Hotel?

Nessie [At Tokio Hotel concert]: Running through the monsoon, beyond the world 'til the end of time, where the rain won't hurt, fighting the storm into the blue!

Bill: HOW ARE YOU SEATTLE?

[Hundred's of screaming fan girls]

Nessie: I LOVE YOU BILL!

Bill: I need some volunteers to help me sing the next song, tobi will you please help me out?

[Tobi picks three random girls from the crowd including Nessie]

Nessie: OH MY GOD!

Bill: I see someone is excited; you girls wanna help moi sing a song?

[All girls nod heads and bill launches into On the Edge. When they finish he slips Nessie a backstage pass and a wink]

Nessie: Oh my god!

[Concert ends]

Bill: Hey girl that helped me sing a song!

Nessie: I have a name you know.

Bill: What is it?

Nessie: Renessmee or Nessie for short.

Tom: Nessie, as in twilight nessie?

Nessie: I don't know.

Bill: Tom, you like twilight?

Tom: Oh yeah bro, it rocks!

Georg: Oh no…

Bill: Great! Another reason for the CFF's to attack you!

Tom: We should go to forks! You live in forks right?

Nessie: Yeah…

Tom: To Forks!

(And it starts…)


	2. Chapter 2

Jasper gets a tat

(Nessie and Tokio Hotel arrive in Forks,causing a group of fan girls to attack!)

Tom:RUN!

(All run to Edwards car and Edward gives nessie a look)

Nessie:It's a long story dad,just drive us home,now!

(Edward shakes his head a rushes his daughter and the four guys home)

Jacob:Nessie I missed you!(Hugs nessie tightly)

Tom:You must be the Jacob nessie's been telling us about on the way here! I'm Tom Kaulitz.

Jacob:(Almost growls at Tom and nessie hugs him again) Nice to meet you,aren't you from tokio hotel or something?

Bill:Yeah! We're famous!

Jacob:Right,well if I were you,I'd run because-

(Loud noise of door opening and a girl screaming)  
Leah:HOLY CRAP IT'S TOKIO HOTEL!

Jacob:That's why...

George:Oh shiz,even here we get that!

(While Emmett restrains Leah,the guys go with nessie to meet the rest of the family)

Nessie:That's uncle jasper,aunt Alice,uncle Emmett you already saw,aunt Rosalie and that's my mom Bella.

Gustav:*Silence*

Nessie:Does he do that a lot?

Tom:Yep.

Bill:Yeah.

Georg:Yeah,Gustav is the hobbit of the band!

Gustav:AM NOT!

Bill:Yes you are now deal with it!

Tom:Who wants to bet with me?

Jasper:What do we gotta do?

Tom:Staring contest.

Jasper:Yeah,i'm in,I bet if I lose I gotta get tattoo! What do you bet?

Tom:Same thing,bill,tell us when to go!

Bill:GO!

(Staring contest starts but ends when jasper blinks from the amazingness of tom's brown eyes)

Tom:I win!

Jasper:Unfair!

Tom:Well you lost so it's off to the tattoo thingy!

(At tattoo place)

Tom:You want that one?(.com/2010/05/06/marines-reject-rebel-ink/)

Jasper:Yeah.

Tom:Well,lets go then!

(Jasper get that tattoo in a laughing fit as the artist has to stop several times cause he's laughing so hard!)

Jasper:STOP IT TICKLES! HAHAHAH!  
Tom:You have a very weird uncle.

Nessie:I know,you're lucky it wasn't emmett!

Alice:I love it jazzy!

All tokio hotel:*Giggles*Jazzy!*Giggles*

Jasper:Shut up emo's!

(And it continues...)


	3. Chapter 3

PUNK'D:KAULITZ STYLE

Tom:Who wants to prank call someone?

Edward:Why are you still here?

_I appear in front of him_

Me:I love tokio hotel and this is my story so shut up and deal with him! Love you tom!

_I disappear_

Tom:Who the h*** was that?

Edward:I have no idea...

Emmett & Jasper:We heard the prank word!

Georg:Care to join?

Edward:Where did you come from?

Georg:GERMANY!

Edward: ...

Emmett:Who shall we call? I have Jessica,Mike,Eric and Erica.

Tom:Who's the stupidest of the group?

Edward:Mike.

Tom:Oh,call him!

_Emmett dials number and waits..._

Mike:Hello?

Tom:*In girly voice* I love you mike!

Mike:Who is this?

Tom:*others trying not to laugh* It's Bella! Did you forget about me already!

Mike:Heeeelllllloooooo Bella!

Tom:*in normal voice* You are such an idiot!*hangs up phone*

Georg:Who's next?

_Meanwhile..._

Corey:Next stop is,Seattle!

Jim:Dude,we already know that!

Shawn:Yeah,you've said it seven times already!

Roy:I agree

Corey:Whatever guys,I just feel like this show is going to be special.

Stone Sour Guys: Are you on something?

Corey:No...I think...

Shawn:OK,I'll be in my bunk if anyone needs me.

_Later that night_

_**She is part of you Corey! Find her and find yourself!**_

Corey:What the-? I need to figure out what I'm on!

**Weird announcer person:Why did stone sour just appear in this story? Why is my voice so high right now? Why did I-**

**Me:That's it!**

**Hog ties announcer**

**Me:Remember to review!(Or I will find you! Just joking...or am I...)**


	4. Chapter 4

Time for me to jump in!

Edward(with face on table): Are they STILL here?

Bella: Yeah, I'd hate to admit it, but, these guys gotta go.

Tom: You guys just had to ask ya know...

Bill: Yeah, we can leave whenever!

Edward: Really?

Georg: Yeah...Why you think we've been here so long? It's a custom in Germany to not leave until your host tells you to.

_(Very loud door knocking)_

Nessie: I'll get that, it must be jake!

_(Opens door and sees me)_

Nessie: Uhhh dad, it's some girl.

Edward: For the last time, I AM NOT THE LOVE OF YOUR LIFE!

Me: Ummm, I have no idea why the heck you said that but ok...

Bella: Ummm, who are you?

Me: Livi, someone told me to come here. One of the quilites I think...

Edward: Oh joy...

Tom: You're kinda cute!

Me: Woah! Slow it down boy! I'm only fourteen!

Edward: Why are you here?

Me: I leave tommrow, after the concert tonight.

Edward: What concert?

Jacob(walking in): Hey! I see you've meet Livi.

Bella: Is this your cousin or something?

Jacob: No, it's my friends, sister's, aunt's niece.

Bill: Say what?

Me: Um, yeah, it's a loooonnnggg story.

Bella: When's that concert?

Me: Seven.

Bella: Then you have plenty of time! 

_(Meanwhile at a concert venue...)_

Jim: Dude, shut up about this being some special show!

Corey: I can't for some reason! I think i'm going nuts! 

Shawn: *Facepalm*

Roy: Did that doctor say if you were on anything?

Corey: No.

Josh: Yeah right.

Corey: I swear! He said I was on NOTHING

Jim: I hope you'll be alright before the show dude...

_(Back at the cullen's...)_

Me: And that's how I got here.

Bill: I can't even to begin to believe that

Nessie: Me either

Me: I know! It's so weird! I expect something to happen at this show so I begged my parents to let me stay with jake and billy for a while during this whole thing.

Bella: I hope this fixes that problem you've been having before all of this...

Me: So do I!

Tom: Alright, I think i'm going to borrow one of your cars and escort Livi to said concert.

Edward: Oh no you're-

Bella: Edward, let him.

Edward: Fine...

Nessie: I'm going too!

Bella: Than I shall be the adult in this situation!

Bill: But all of us are above the age of twenty!

Bella: And i'm about the age of a hundred!

Tom: 0_o

Me: Can we go now? 

Bella: Yes! To the cullen mobile!

Nessie: I curse the day Uncle Emmet decided to call our car that...

_(Meanwhile...)_

Jim: Corey,Corey,COREY! 

Corey: What?

Shawn: You are so out of it dude!

Corey: I have no idea what's up today!

Roy: Well get your head in the game because we're meeting a very important girl today

Corey: And who the heck would that be?

Jim: Our producers step-daughter, did you forget already?

Corey: No...well...maybe...yes.

Josh: Wow...

(Security enters with girl and several others)

Roy: You must be Livi, who the heck are these other people?

Me: It's a long story...

Manager: Twenty minutes to show guys!

Jim: Can you tell it in that amount of time?

Me: I think so...

Shawn: Well get on with it!

_(Minutes later...)_

Jim: Let me get this straight, you begged you parents to send you over to your friends in Seattle and you came just for our show?

Me: That's not even the beginning of it big guy.

Josh: There's more?

Me: Kinda...

Corey: Well spit it out!

Me: May I talk to you privately? 

Corey: Sure, I guess...

_(Seconds later...)_

Me: Weird dreams seem to be hitting me repeatedly lately and all of them have one of the stone sour guys in them...

Corey: I've been having these weird dreams about some girl...

Me: Oh really? I've been having ones about this guy and the stone sour dude is just saying _find him..._

Corey: That's what my dream said too! _Find her and find yourself..._

Me: This is waaaayyy beyond creepy!

Jim: IF YOU GUYS ARE DONE GOSSIPING,WE GOTTA GO!

Corey: Bandmates, watcha gonna do?

Me: No idea...

(This story is and will get slightly weirder and/or randomer as I add chapters! Sorry this one is kind odd, it's 11PM and I start to get a little weird as it gets later into the night! [WriterHorse32 should know what i'm talking about! LOL] )


	5. Chapter 5

TWILIGHT RANDOMNESSSSSSSSSSSS!

Carlise:I don't understand, your mother and I went on a small get-away for just two weeks and you managed to get two rock bands and an unsupervised teenager staying at our house!

Edward: (head on table...still) I don't want to talk about it right now... 

Me: Hey Eddy, Nessie wants to know if we can go out with the sour guys tonight. They're going indoor skydiving with some other famous people and said a few invitations were open...

Esme:'The sour guys?' Who exactly are the sour guys? And who are you?

Me: Excuse me miss lady person but I am Livi Webb and I am the friend of Jake's aunt's niece. 

Carlise and Esme:JACOB!

(Jacob enters slowly from fear of thrown knives, glass objects, soft toys etc..) 

Jacob:Thank god you pulled my out of that mess, those Germans are at war with your boys and it's getting really ugly.

Me: I guess it didn't help that I stole Bill's hair product and said it was Emmett. Oh and I guess it also doesn't help that I wrote Cullen's Suck, Kaulitz's Rule in window paint in Edwards room...

(Silence...)

Jacob: You didn't...

Edward: She's not lying...

(series of large crashes from other room)

Esme: What in the name of crow was that?

Carlise: Let's hope it wasn't that dining room table from France again...

Person: YOU STOLE MR. SQUGGLE!

Other Person: BECAUSE YOU STOLE MY RAINBOW UNICORN!

Me: I think I should-

Edward: Oh no, you and Nessie aren't going sky-diving indoors or out until you get this situation straight. Unless of course, you want to the Voltouri to-

Me: NO! Alright, I'll see what I can do...

(Moments later...)

Corey: Why are we wearing camo again?

Me: Because it makes for a better operation!

Bella: Thank god Alice made them those outfits!

Me: Yeah! If you squint and look to the side you guys kinda look-

Edward: Alright can we get a move on please? We have six, maybe seven crazy people running rampant in a VERY expensive house. We have to fix them or get them out, fast!

Me: Alright, here's the plan. Team A will take German detail and Team B will take Vamp detail. All of you are armed with weapons that will entice and capture even the stupidest vampire or band member.

Corey, Jim and Roy: HEY!

Me: Sorry guys, anyway, any questions?

Corey: The comment wasn't necessary...

Me: Well you know what, how about I let my rainbow unicorn Bob do the presentation and tell you guys how this is going to go down? The presentation was pre-made online! Anyway, lets move!

(Teams split and head into the dark, foggy, aby-, wait what am I talking about? The teams split and head into THE CULLEN HOUSEHOLD full of RARE and OLD relics)

Bella: I can hear Jasper and Emmet laughing themselves upstairs, why don't we start there?

Me: **nod** But we must do this with stealth and precision!

(Seconds later...)

Bella: AHHHHHHHHH!

(Door crashes open)

Me: Put the German hottie down. There will be a Peace Treaty meeting in the living room in a few minutes, both of you go, now!

Jasper: Nah.

Me: (aiming flame-thrower) This thing is loaded you know...

Bella: Jazzy, move along. NOW!

Jasper: **mumbling** Stupid sister, thinks she's the stuff. I'll show her one day, I'll show them all one day!

Me: I wonder how the guys are doing...

Bella: Who knows?

**TO BE CONTINUED...**


	6. Chapter 6

**NEVER SEND A BAND TO CATCH A VAMPIRE**

Corey: What in the name of zebus are you doing, dude?

Edward: **setting very complicated looking trap in the middle of the room** This is something Jasper came up with a few days ago. Since we had some hyper rock stars and some equally hyper va- people in the house, we had to have some sort of plan for if things were to break down.

Jim: I didn't understand one word of that.

Roy: Weird guy make fancy trap to catch family and/or weird guests.

Edward: Exactly.

Emmett: And I thought I was slow...

Corey: HEY!

Jim: What'dy we do now?

Edward: **rubbing hands together evilly **We wait.

**Hours later...**

Tom: Look it.

Georg (HAHA TORG!): Should we?

Tom: Does it look like a trap to you?

Georg: Skittle sitting randomly in the middle of a room looks kinda odd.

Tom: Whatever.

**Moments later...**

Tom & Georg: AH!

Edward: Two down, two to go.

Tom: YOU'LL NEVER TAKE US ALIVE!

Corey: We just did.

Tom: Grrr.

_Meanwhile..._

Bill: Shiny!

Bella: Got him!

Bill: HOW IN THE NAME OF JEBUS DID YOU GET A CAGE IN HERE!

Alice: We're vam-, uhh, hunters! Yeah.

Bella: Nice save sister.

Nessie: MOM!

Bella: Hi honey! Be a dear and go get momma's blowtorch!

Bill: O_O

Nessie: No! Can we not solve this with a rational-

**CRASH!**

Bella: That is why we cannot solve this with a rational conversation. Now, can you please get the blowtorch!

Nessie: Uhh, why?

Bill: How bout if I promise to come along quietly?

Nessie: Yeah mom!

Bella: Fine!

Alice: NO! I wanna torture someone!

Nessie: Auntie Alice...

Alice: Fine.

**And it continues...**

A/N: I know this SUCKED a bit, especially at the end, but I'm trying to work outta my rut guys so stick with me!


End file.
